Learning to Live
by ocfan
Summary: The sequel to "Second Chance at a First Love"...Kendall learns living without him is easier said then done...Kames and Cargan


**Disclaimer: Don't own them…sorry to say. **

_Kendall sighed as he rolled over and looked at the clock….he closed his eyes trying to fall asleep…giving up he got up and walked quietly to the kitchen…and saw something that he never thought he'd see._

"Kendall? Are you okay?" James asked him quietly.

"Why are you here?" Kendall asked him.

"I live here…." James said.

"You can't….you're not alive…" Kendall said.

"That's no way to talk to your husband…" James said.

"Sorry….I didn't….I have no idea what is going on," Kendall said.

_James didn't seem to mind…he smiled at him…_

"How is our daughter? And Logan? And Carlos?" he asked.

"There all fine…" Kendall said. "What am I stepping in?"

_Kendall flipped on the kitchen to see that he was stepping in a dark red substance…looking up at James Kendall noticed that his head was gushing blood at a fast rate. _

"James…you're bleeding…" Kendall said.

"I know…it happens all the time…you can't stop it Kendall…you have to let me go…." James said.

"I can't….I wish I could have saved you…" Kendall said.

"Bye Kendall….don't give up….I love you…."James said disappearing.

_Screaming out…Kendall woke up in a cold sweat, realizing it was all a dream….he sat up in his bed; the sun was starting to come up. _

**That Morning **

_Kendall called work…telling that he was taking a personal day…after sending his daughter off to school he sat on the living room couch. Knowing that Logan had to work that night he called him up to hopefully get some answers, Logan came over immediately….._

"Logan….I need help…" Kendall said.

"Of course…I am a doctor after all," Logan said.

_Telling him about the dream, Logan looked at him intensely…._

"You know…I had the same dream…it's always the same….pool of blood…" Logan said.

"Really?" Kendall said surprised.

"Yeah…except he tells me….to watch out for you…" Logan said.

_Kendall looked somewhat shocked by Logan's dream…._

"I don't know if I'm supposed to tell you this…but Carlos called me a few weeks ago…he had the same dream," Logan said.

"It's not a coincidence…it has to mean something," Kendall said.

"Don't they always," Logan said. "Dreams always have to mean something."

"What did James say in Carlos' dream?" Kendall asked him.

"Tell Kendall I love him…" Logan said.

"Really?" Kendall asked.

_Logan nodded…_

"It's not like you didn't know that already," Logan

"I know…" Kendall said.

"He loved you more than anyone…ever" Logan said.

_Kendall nodded…he didn't know what else to do but he knew of course deep down what he had to do. He was going to have to go to Minnesota…he had to look for answers…_

**Kendall's House-A Few Weeks Later**

_Logan guided Diamond up to her room…it was getting close to her bedtime…._

"Uncle Logan?" Diamond said sweetly.

"Yes sweetie…" he said tucking her in.

"Where's daddy?" she asked.

_Carlos walked in after changing into his pajamas…to check on how everything was going, Logan was happy to see him…but knew that he would have to answer the question._

"Your dad…went on a little trip but he will be home soon," Logan said quickly.

"Okay…" she said.

"Night…." Logan said giving her a kiss on the forehead.

"Night honey," Carlos said kissing her as well.

_Logan closed her bedroom door, sighing he walked down the stairs and looked at the clock…it was time for him to go to work. Carlos followed him down the stairs…_

"You know where I'll be…call me anytime…if you need anything," Logan said picking his work bag up.

"I will…don't worry about anything," Carlos said.

"Alright…Night," Logan said walking out the door.

"Night Logan…" Carlos said closing the door behind him and locking it.

_The sudden quiet was unsettling for him…making his way to the living room he sat down on the couch and flipped through the television channels. Turning off the TV he got up off the couch, and starting looking around at the pictures in the room, he had seen them all before but they looked different. He couldn't place it…something about the light makes them all seem…_

"Uncle Carlos?" Diamond said.

"You okay honey?" he asked kneeling to her level.

_Diamond shook her head to mean yes…._

"Are you sure?" he asked her. "Do you want me to come and sit with you?"

"Please…" she said.

_Carlos took her hand and they walked up the stairs together…Diamond got back in her bed and yawned. Grabbing a chair, Carlos sat next to her bed….he hoped silently that Kendall would be getting the answers he deserved…they all deserved them. As Diamond drifted off, Carlos looked around her room, the light from the nightlight was barely enough to see, she had a picture of all of them together at her last birthday…it was sad…they all wished James was there. Carlos looked over at her, Diamond was sleeping soundly and he was getting tired himself. Leaving the room, he made his way to bathroom to brush his teeth…after finishing he went to the living room. Settling down on the couch, he pulled the blanket around him and quickly drifted off to sleep. _

**Minnesota: The Next Morning**

_Kendall tossed and turned in the bed, he couldn't sleep…he tried to push out the thoughts of his dream. Sighing he got up to shower and then finally walked to the kitchen, his mother was up and drinking her coffee at the kitchen table. _

"Mom…tell me what really happened with dad," Kendall said sitting down.

"Oh honey…when I met your father…he was in and out of prison….I thought that I could change him….it didn't work," she said. "We got married quickly….because I was pregnant…"

_Kendall shook his head…._

"By the time you were born…your father was in jail again for a while this time and then he got out," she said. "By the time I became pregnant with your sister we were…I don't know…all I know is he was stabbed in prison and died."

"That's horrible," Kendall said not knowing what else to say.

"What does this have to do with James?" Jen asked him.

"I don't know…just a dream I had…he didn't want me to give up on him…maybe I did," Kendall said. "That's why he was so guilty about Jo…and his parents."

"Honey…you never gave up on him…James and your father were different people, your father was….a bad person….James was a good person would do anything for anyone…you knew that better than anyone," Jen said.

_Kendall nodded his head…but he still hoped to find more answers…hugging his mother he told her that he would was going on a drive and walked out the door. Kendall parked in the driveway…sighing he walked to the all too familiar door. _

"Kendall Knight, never thought I'd see you," the person at the door said.

"Brooke…can I come in?" Kendall asked.

"I suppose so," she said opening the door. "What are you doing here?"

_Brooke showed him to the kitchen table…Kendall looked around the room and noticed pictures of James around. _

"I need answers," Kendall said.

"What kind of answers?" she asked sitting down.

"Did James…ever blame himself for the divorce?" Kendall started.

"Of course…everyday….he didn't want his father to leave," she said.

_Brooke explained to Kendall everything about the divorce and how after it happened she spent less and less time with her son and more and more time working to make good impressions. _

"I'm not a bad person Kendall…there's just an image that we have to uphold," Brooke said. "You know…when I found out about you and James…I wasn't happy, no son of mine was going to marry another man."

_Kendall breathed deeply and excused himself to go to the bathroom, reaching the top of the stairs Kendall opened the closed door. He knew it wasn't the bathroom…it was James' room; it had been set up like she was expecting him to come home at any time. Kendall remembered when they were younger they barely spent time at James' house, they were always at his for sleepovers and everything else. Walking back to the door, Kendall looked around one more time, shut the light off and closing the door…he went back downstairs. _

"I love your son…I still do…I always will," Kendall said. "I'm sorry I wasted your time."

"Kendall….." Brooke started.

_Kendall was already out the door…getting into the car he wiped his eyes with a napkin from the glove compartment, he knew that she would never understand that he was the one that James needed and vice versa. _

**L.A. The Same Morning**

_Diamond and Carlos were finishing their breakfast when Logan came downstairs from the guest room._

"Morning…" he said helping himself to cereal.

"Morning Logan…how was work?" Carlos asked him.

"Oh you know…it's a hospital," Logan said vaguely.

_Logan didn't want to get into any of the gory details…._

"How are you sweetie?" he asked Diamond giving her a kiss on the forehead.

"Good…" she said.

_They sat in silence….until the phone rang…_

"Hello..." Carlos said answering the phone. "Oh hey Kendall…"

"How is everything going?" he asked.

"It's going good…how's it going there?" Carlos asked him.

"It's going….better I guess than expected," Kendall said.

"Good to hear," Carlos said. "What to talk to your daughter?"

"Of course," Kendall said.

_Carlos handed the phone to her…_

"Hi Daddy…I miss you," Diamond said.

"Miss you too sweetie…I'll be home tomorrow okay? Love you," Kendall said. "Give the phone back to Uncle Carlos."

_Diamond back the phone to Carlos where they talked for a minute longer….Carlos had hung up the phone and they went back to their daily rituals. _

**L.A.-The Next Day**

"Daddy's home" Kendall said opening the door.

"Daddy!" the little girl screamed running down the stairs.

_Kendall hugged his daughter, Carlos and Logan followed appeared from the living room where they were watching TV while she napped. _

"Gustavo Rocque of Rocque Records…was found shot in his mansion earlier this afternoon," the reporter on the TV said.

"Wait what?" Kendall said going to the living room.

_Logan and Carlos were just as shocked as he was they weren't watching the news…it must have been a cut in from the news channel. They raced into the living room to see released police photo of Gustavo laying in a pool of blood…pausing the television Kendall sent his daughter back up to her room and put the TV on again to hear what was going on…watching in shock all they were fixated on were the bloody letters "BTR" on the wall. _

**Thanks for Reading!**


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